i have a cool kid. Kids are an amazing crap shot, you dont know what kind you will get and you don't necessarily have that much control over how they come out (parents love to think that they do, but the other factors often overwhelm their efforts). i got lucky.
Willow has some wonderful primaries (people who regularly spend a couple hours a week with him, getting labor credits for this work in my communities elaborate work system). Yesterday, Trout took Willow to the pond with a fishing rod and some of our vegetarian sausage. They were going fishin'.
Our pond is tiny. Since it is principally for swimming, it was designed with upstream filters and catchment pools so it would not have fish in it. But life only being secondarily concerned with the will of man (sic), other things happened.
As Willow tells it, they put a small piece of soysage on to the hook, Trout did the casting and Willow pulled it in slowly. The did this a dozen times with no effect. Willow convinced Trout to pull the hook and afix a larger piece of soysage to the hook and within moments a fairly good size fished, probably a trout (no relations) was snagged. Willow pulled it in with great joy and mild trepidation.
When i arrived at dinner last night, they had already cooked and cleaned it and my son was in story telling heaven. He ran to me in the dining hall and demanded that i gues what had happened. Several people had already told me and my lack of surprise did not slow him down for a moment. He was up in my arms, animated and in full tale. His joy was infectious.
i ate a small piece of his first catch so i could be part of the history. Tasty.
i was fearful becoming a parent. Tho Hawina and i choose it very intentionally and added Sky as a co-parent after careful deliberation, i was unsure if it would work well in my manic life. In retrospect, it is perhaps the smartest thing i have ever done.
i dont advocate parenting for babylonians, but here on the commune, it has been an amazing experience. i am learning about intimacy by working with these small hands and listening to the gentle snoring of this cool kid. My kid, Willow.
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i saw the fish! it was so fresh, the gills were still moving, and i'm pretty sure it was alive till trout cut it's head off.
but even better, i got to see willow's face, share in his and trout's excitement. trout's joy at teaching willow how to fish, the amazement and occasional disgust on willow's face as trout cleaned and filleted the fish, showing willow the innards of this creature they caught with soysage.
this to me is one of the best parts of living as we do, in community, intertwined and connected in this way. because for every annoying frustrating day, there are 10 others where i get to see willow catch a fish, to watch our kids grow and change.
and, i love that we don't wrap out kids in cotton-wool here, that we show them fishguts and don't pretend that the stork brings babies and drops them on the doorstep. it is (to me) a more sensible way of parenting, of being honest with our kids, about the good, the bad, and the weird.
and someday, i hope, i'll get to share this life, this community, with a kid of my own. i hope that there will be a trout around to take my son or daughter fishing, and a caroline to put on makeup and play dressup, and a rowan to be an amazing role model. living here, i am confident there will be.
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